PEACE and HARMONY

 Christians should cultivate PEACE and HARMONY one with another.

"Keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." Ephes. 4:3. "Be of one mind, live in peace." 2 Cor. 3:11. "Follow after the things which make for peace." Rom. 14:19. It is quite needless to expatiate on the value and importance of peace. What society can exist without it? I shall therefore proceed to state what things are necessary for the attainment of this end.

1. Christians should be SUBJECT one to another in humility. "Likewise, you younger men, submit yourselves unto those who are older. Yes, all of you, be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility." 1 Pet. 5:5. Now from hence we learn, that some kind of mutual subjection ought to be established in every Christian church. This of course does not mean, that some members are to make an entire surrender of their opinions and feelings to others, so far as never to oppose them, and always to be guided by others. It is not the subjection of an inferior to a superior—but of equals to one another; not that which is extorted by authority—but voluntarily conceded by affection; not yielded as matter of right—but given for the sake of peace—in short, it is the mutual subjection of love and humility.

YOUNG and inexperienced people ought to be subject to the aged; for what can be more indecorous than to see a stripling standing up at a church meeting, and, with confidence and flippancy, opposing his views to those of a godly disciple, old enough to be his grandfather? Youth loses its loveliness when it loses its humility. They should hearken with deference and most reverential attention to the opinion of the aged. Nor does the obligation rest here; it extends to those who are equal in age and rank. Church members should be subject to each other; they should not be determined at all events to have their own way—but should go as far as biblical principle would let them, in giving up their own views and personal biases, to the rest of the group. Everyone should hearken with respectful attention to the opinions of others, and be willing to sacrifice his own personal opinion. The 'contention' ought not to be for rule—but for subjection. Instead of haughtily exclaiming, "I have as much right to have my way as any one else!" we should say, "I have an opinion, and will mildly and respectfully state it; yet I will not force it upon the church—but give way to the superior wisdom of others, if I am opposed." There should be in every member a supposition that others may see as clearly, probably more so—than himself.

The democratic principle in our system of church government must not be stretched too far. The idea of equal rights is soon abused, and converted into the means of turbulence and faction. Liberty, unity, and equality, are words which, both in church and state, have often become the signals, in the mouths of some, for the lawless invasion of the rights of others. It has been strangely forgotten, that no man in social life has a right to please only himself; his will is, or ought to be, the good of the whole. And that individual violates at once the social compact, whether in ecclesiastical or civil society, who pertinaciously and selfishly exclaims, "I will have my way!" Such a declaration constitutes him a rebel against the community. Yet, alas! how much of this rebellion is to be found not only in the world—but in the church! And what havoc and desolation has it occasioned! Unfortunately for the peace of our churches, it is sometimes disguised, by the deceitfulness of the human heart—under the cloak of zeal for the general good. Church members should enter into these sentiments, and thus comply with the apostolic admonitions, "Let nothing be done through strife or vain-glory—but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves." Phil. 2:3. "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." Romans 12:10.

2. To the preservation of peace, a right treatment of OFFENCES is essentially necessary.

We should ever be cautious not to GIVE offence. Some people are crude, dogmatic, or imprudent; they never consult the feelings of those around them, and are equally careless whom they please—and whom they offend. They say and do just what their feelings prompt, without the least regard to the consequences of their words and actions. They act like an individual who, because it pleases him, discharges a loaded musket in a crowded street, where some are almost sure to be wounded. This is not that love which is kind, courteous, and civil. A Christian should be ever afraid of giving offence; he should be anxious not to injure the 'wing of an insect', much more the 'mind of a brother'! The peace of his brethren should even be more sacred than his own. It should be his fixed determination, if possible, to never be the occasion a moment's pain in another. For this purpose he should be kind, and mild, and courteous in all his language, weighing the import of words before he utters them, and calculating the consequence of actions before he performs them. He should remember that he is moving in a crowd, and be careful not to trample on, or jostle his neighbors.

We should all be backward to RECEIVE offence. Quarrels often begin for lack of the caution I have just stated—and are then continued because people are too quick to take offence. An observance of these two principles would keep the world in peace. There are some people whose passions are like cotton—kindled into a blaze in a moment by the least spark which has been purposely or accidentally thrown upon it. A word, or a look—is in some cases quite enough to be considered a very serious injury! It is no uncommon thing for such people to excuse themselves on the ground that their 'feelings are so delicate'—that they are offended by the least touch. This is a humiliating confession, for it is acknowledging that, instead of being like the cedar of Lebanon, or the oak of the forest, which laughs at the tempest, and is unmoved by the boar of the wood—they resemble the sensitive plant, a little squeamish shrub, which trembles before the breeze, and shrivels and contracts beneath the pressure of an insect! Delicate feelings!! In plain English, this means that they are petulant, irritable and peevish! Delicate feelings!! In plain English, this means that they are petulant, irritable and peevish! I would like to have a sign hung around the neck of such people--and it would be this, "Beware of the dog!"

We should never allow ourselves to be offended, until, at least, we are sure that offence was intended; and this is really not so often as we are apt to conclude. Had we but patience to wait, or humility to inquire, we would find that many hurtful things were done by mistake, which we are prone to attribute to design. How often do we violate that love which thinks no evil, and which imperatively demands of us to attribute a good motive to another's conduct—until a bad motive is proved! Let us then deliberately determine, that, by God's grace, we will not be easily offended. If such a resolution were generally made and kept, offences would cease. Let us first ascertain whether offence was intended, before we allow the least emotion of anger to be indulged; and even then, when we have proved that the offence was committed on purpose, let us next ask ourselves whether it is necessary to notice it. What wise man will think it worth while, when an insect has stung him, to pursue and punish the aggressor?

When we have received an injury which is too serious to be passed over unnoticed, and requires explanation in order to our future pleasant communion with the individual who inflicts it, we should neither brood over it in silence, nor communicate it to a third person—but go directly to the offender himself, and state to him in private, our views of his conduct. This is most clearly enjoined by our divine Lord, "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over." Matthew 18:15.

Many people lock up the injury in their own bosom; and instead of going to their offending brother—dwell upon his conduct in silence, until their imagination has added to it every possible aggravation, and their minds have come to the conclusion to separate themselves forever from his society. From that hour, they neither speak to him, nor think well of him—but consider and treat him as an alien from their hearts. This is not godliness. Our duty is to go, and to go as speedily as possible, to the offender. The longer we delay, the more serious will the offence appear in our eyes, and the more difficult will it be to persuade ourselves to obtain the interview.

Others, when they have received an offence, set off to some friend, perhaps to more than one, to lodge their complaint, and tell how they have been treated. The report of the injury spreads farther and wider, exaggerated and swelled by those circumstances, which every gossip through whose hands it passes, chooses to add to the original account, until, in process of time, it comes round to the offender himself, in its magnified and distorted form, who now finds that he, in his turn, is aggrieved and calumniated! And thus a difficult and complicated case of offence, grows out of what was at first very simple in its nature—and capable of being adjusted. We ought to go at once to the party offending us, before a syllable has passed our lips on the subject to a third person! We should also close our ears against the complaints of any individual, who would inform us of the fault of a brother, before he has told the offender himself!

Sometimes, when people have received a supposed offence, they will endeavor to gain information from others in a circuitous and clandestine manner, in order, as they think, to conduct the affair with prudence. This is crooked policy, and rarely succeeds. It is next to impossible to creep with a step so soft, and to speak with a voice so muffled, as to escape detection. And if he starts to ferret into holes and corners for evidence, it will be sure to excite indignation and disgust. No! the offended party should go to to the supposed offender at once—and alone! This is the command of Scripture, and it is approved by reason, Matt. 18:15-17. This single admonition is worth all the volumes that philosophy ever wrote, and ought to be inscribed in letters of gold. It cannot be too often repeated, nor can too much stress be laid upon it.

People, whose ears are ever open to catch slanders and gossip, should be avoided as the plague; they are the mischief-makers and quarrel-mongers, and are the pests of our churches!

Great caution, however, should be observed as to the spirit in which we go to the offending brother. All the meekness and gentleness of Christ should be in our hearts and manner. We should dip our very tongue in the fountain of love! Every feeling of anger, every look of anger, every tone of anger—should be suppressed. We should not at once accuse our brother of the injury, for the report may be false—but humbly ask him if it the report is correct. All attempts to extort confession by threatenings should be avoided; and instead of these, nothing should be employed but the appeals of wisdom—and the gentle persuasions of love. If we succeed in this private interview to gain our brother so far as to produce a little relenting, we ought to cherish, by the kindest expressions, these beginnings of repentance, and to avoid all demands of unnecessary concession—all haughty demeanor of conscious superiority—all insulting methods of dispensing pardon. "Brother," we should say, "my aim was not to degrade you—but to convince you; and since you see and acknowledge your fault, I am satisfied, and shall forgive and forget it from this moment!"

If the offender should refuse to acknowledge his fault, and it should be necessary for us to take a witness or two—which is our next step in settling a disagreement—we must be very careful to select men of great discretion and calmness; men who will not be likely to inflame, instead of healing the wound; men who will act as mediators, not as partisans.

It is absolutely necessary, in order to offences being removed, that the offender, upon his being convicted of an injury, should make all suitable concession; and it will generally be found, that in long continued and complicated strifes, this obligation becomes mutual. Whoever is the ORIGINAL aggressor a feud seldom continues long, before both parties are to blame. Even the aggrieved individual has something to concede; and the way to induce the other to acknowledge his greater offence, is for him to confess his lesser one. It is the mark of a noble and godly mind to confess an error, and solicit its forgiveness. "Confess your faults one to another," is an inspired injunction.

The man who is too proud to acknowledge his fault, when his conduct demands it, has violated his duty, and is a fit subject for censure. There are some people, so far forgetful of their obligations to Christ and to their brethren, as not only to refuse to make concession—but even to give excuses for their sinful behavior. Their proud spirits disdain even to afford the least satisfaction in the way of throwing light upon a supposed offence. This is most criminal, and is such a defiance of the authority of the Lord Jesus, as ought to bring the individual before the discipline of the church.

We should be very cautious not to exact unreasonable concession. A revengeful spirit is often as effectually gratified by imposing hard and humiliating terms of reconciliation, as it possibly could be by making the severest retaliation. No offender is so severely punished, as he who is obliged to degrade himself in order to obtain a pardon. And as all revenge is unlawful, we should be extremely careful not to gratify it at the very time and by the manner in which we are dispensing pardon. To convince a brother, not to degrade him, is the object we are to seek; and especially should we endeavor to show him, that his offence is more against Christ than against ourselves.

When suitable acknowledgments are made, the act of forgiveness is no longer optional with us. From that moment every spark of anger, every feeling of a revengeful nature, is to be quenched. "Let not the sun go down upon your anger, neither give place to the devil." Ephes. 4:26, 27. If we allow sleep to visit our eyes before we have forgiven an offending, but penitent brother—we are committing a greater offence against Christ, than our brother has committed against us! The man that takes a revengeful temper to his pillow, is inviting Satan to be his guest! Such a man would probably tremble at the thought of taking a harlot to his bed—but is it no crime to sleep in the embrace of a fiend—himself! The word revenge should be blotted from the Christian's vocabulary by the tears which he sheds for his own offences. How can an merciless Christian repeat that petition of our Lord's prayer, "Forgive me my trespasses—as I forgive those who trespass against me?" Does he forget that if he uses such language while he is living in a state of resentment against a brother, he is praying for perdition?—for how does he forgive them that trespass against him? By revenge!

How strong is the language of Paul! "And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you!" Ephes. 4:30-32. What motives to a forgiving spirit!! Can that man have ever tasted the sweets of pardoning mercy—who refuses to forgive an erring brother? Go, Christian professor, go first to the law, and learn your twenty thousand sins! Go in imagination to the brink of the bottomless pit, and as you hearken to the howlings of the damned, remember that those howlings might have been your! Then go to the cross, and while you look on the bleeding victim who is nailed to it, hearken to the accents of mercy which breathe like soft music in your ear, "Go in peace, your sins are all forgiven you!" What, will you, can you return from such scenes, with purposes of revenge? No! Impossible!

An implacable, merciless Christian is a contradiction in terms. "Bigots there may be, and have been, of all denominations—but an implacable, irreconcilable, unforgiving Christian—is of the same figure of speech—as a godly adulterer, a religious drunkard, a devout murderer!" (Grosvenor's most touching sermon on the "Temper of Jesus")

"The last step in reclaiming an offender, is to bring him before the assembled church. "But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector." Matthew 18:16-17. Every effort that ingenuity can invent, affection prompt, or patience can conduct—ought to be made, before it be brought to be investigated by the brethren at large. If every trivial disagreement is laid before the church, it will soon become a court of common pleas, and have all its time consumed in adjusting matters of which it ought never to have heard. Before a public inquiry takes place, the pastor should be made acquainted with the matter; who, if he possess the confidence and affection of his people, will have sufficient influence, at least in all ordinary cases, to terminate the difference in an amicable manner. It is best to settle it even without his interference, if possible—but it is better to consult him in every case, before the affair is submitted to the last tribunal.

An offence ought never to be considered as removed, until love is restored. We should never rest until such an explanation has been given and received, as will enable us to return to harmony and confidence. A mere cessation of actual hostilities may do for the communion of the world—but not for the fellowship of the saints. There is no actual strife between the tenants of the sepulcher—but the cold and gloomy stillness of a church-yard is an inappropriate emblem of the peace of a Christian church. In such a community, we expect, that not only will the discords and sounds of enmity be hushed—but the sweet harmonies of love be heard; not only that the conflict of rage will terminate—but be succeeded by the activity of genuine affection.

When once an offence has been removed, it should never be adverted to in future. Its very remembrance should, if possible, be washed from the memory by the waters of forgetfulness. Other causes of disagreement may exist, and fresh feuds arise—but the old one is dead and buried, and its angry spirit should never be evoked to add fury to the passion of its successor. Nor should we, when in our turn we are convicted of an error, shelter ourselves from reproof, by reminding our reprover, that he was once guilty of a similar offence. This is mean, dishonorable, unchristian, and mischievous.

Every Christian should bear reproof with meekness. Few know how to give reproof with propriety, still fewer how to receivereproof. "Let the righteous smite me, it shall be a kindness; and let him reprove me, it shall be as excellent oil, which shall not break my head." How small is the number who can adopt this language in sincerity! What wounded pride, what mortification and resentment are felt by many when their faults are told to them. When we have so far sinned as to deserve rebuke, we ought to have humility enough to bear it with meekness; and should it be delivered in greater weight, or with less affection than we think is proper—a penitential remembrance of our offence should prevent all feelings of irritation or resentment. The scripture is very severe in its language to those who turn with neglect, anger or disgust from the admonitions of their brethren. "He who despises reproof, sins." Prov. 10:17. "He who hates reproof is brutish." Prov. 12:1. "He who is often reproved, and yet hardens his neck, shall be suddenly destroyed, and that without remedy." Prov. 29:1. Such people are guilty of great pride, great neglect of the word of God, and great contempt of one of the ordinances of Heaven—and thus injure their souls by that which was given to benefit them.

Do not then act so wickedly as to turn with indignation from a brother that comes in the spirit of meekness to admonish and reprove you. Rather thank him for his fidelity, and profit by his kindness. I know not a more decisive mark of true and strong piety—than a willingness to receive reproof with meekness, and to profit by admonition, come from whom it might.

3. If the peace of the church be preserved, the members must watch against and repress A TATTLING DISPOSITION.

There are few circumstances which tend more to disturb the harmony and repose of our societies, than a proneness, in some of their members, to a gossiping, tattling disposition. There are people so deeply infected with the Athenian passion to hear or tell some new thing, that their ears or lips are always open. With insatiable appetite they devour all the news and rumors they can by any means collect, and are never easy until it is all disgorged again, to the unspeakable annoyance and disgust of others around them. It is one of the mysteries of God's natural government, that such should gain a sort of advantageous consequence by the mischief they occasion, and be thus sheltered from scorn, by being regarded with dread. The tattler is of this description—I mean the individual who loves to talk of other men's matters, and especially of their faults; for it will be found, that by a singular perversity of disposition, those who love to talk about the circumstances of others, rarely ever select their excellences as matter of discourse—but almost always fix upon their failings; and thus, to borrow a simile of Solomon's, they resemble the fly which neglects the healthful part of the frame to feast and luxuriate on the loathsome sore.

In the case of tattling there are generally three parties to blame; there is first the tattler, then the person who is weak enough to listen to the tales; and lastly, the individual who is the subject of the gossip, who allows his mind to be irritated, instead of going, in the spirit of meekness, to require an explanation from the original reporter.

Now let it be a rule with every church member, to avoid speaking of the personal circumstances, and especially of the faults of others. Let this rule have the sanctity of the laws of Heaven, and the immutability of those of the Medes and Persians. Let every individual resolve with himself thus, "I will be slow to speak of others. I will neither originate a report by saying what I think, nor help to circulate a report by repeating what I hear." This is a most wise regulation, which would at once preserve our own peace and the peace of society. We should beware of saying anything, which, by the perverted ingenuity of a slanderous disposition, may become the basis of a tale to the disadvantage of another. It is not enough, as I have hinted, that we do not originate a report—but we ought not to circulate it. When it reaches us, there it should stop, and go no farther. We should give it to prudence, to be buried in silence. We must never appear pleased with the tales of gossips and newsmongers, much less with the scandals of the backbiter—our smile is their reward. If there were no listeners, there would be no tattlers. In company, let us always discourage and repress such conversation. Talkers know where to find a market for their stuff; and like poachers and smugglers, who never carry their contraband articles to the house of an tax-man, they never offer their reports to an individual who, they know, would reprove them in the name of Jesus.